When Pat Robertson commented on literally nothing else about Melania Trump but her physique and history as a model it was not the first awful thing he’s said about women. He holds some of the most disgusting and disturbing views that you will ever hear broadcast on daytime television.
Even if fellow addled curmudgeon Roger Ailes (who will be stepping down after a sex scandal) is using the Fox Network his own geriatric sex club, at least he knows to avoid repeating any of the awful things he must harbor in his 76-year-old mind on national television. Robertson (at 86) doesn’t seem to have that same filter – though to be clear I don’t know anything about his sex life – but if it is any match for the sexists and sexualized things he says on the air then we’ll all be in for a treat once some poor intern comes forward after his awful toilet death.
Pat Robertson was shocked by the popularity of E L James’ 50 Shades of Gray series among women. That shouldn’t surprise you. He’s a radical Christian who believes that the Haitian Earthquake was punishment for a 100-year-old slave revolt. In his strange world pornographic material isn’t just bad because it’s sexual; it’s an addiction or a mild form of witchcraft that sneaks into the spirit through your eyes.
But as with Melania Trump, Robertson seemed to focus not on the purely ethical dimension of what was being communicated but by the attractiveness of the author. He described James as “kind of a house-wifey type, who doesn’t look like some glamour queen or something.” He just can’t help but objectify women while he’s complaining about the objectification of women.
He also seemed legitimately surprised that women are interested in sex AT ALL:
The thing that shocks me: we always thought that this was a male thing” Paterson explained to his clearly uncomfortable female counterpart as she desperately tried to convince him she wasn’t interested in bondage fiction. “A boy thing; a guy thing. But now, it looks like 30% of women are involved in pornography.”
Again, he’s 86 years old so there is a generational difference between his worldview and about 95% of the American populous. But his lack of insight into human sexuality as well as his obsession with rating females as if they were exhibits at a zoo is ample reason to dismiss anything he says about sex outright.
Robertson is adamantly opposed to divorce. After scouring clips from his show I could only find one instance where he suggested that someone get a divorce. Want to guess when it’s okay? Domestic Violence? Child Abuse? Heroin or Meth addiction? Nope, you should stick with your spouse in all of those cases. The only time divorce is admissible is if your wife has dementia or is otherwise psychologically incapable of being your companion to the fullest extent you had planned on:
“I know it sounds cruel,” Robertson said of his dementia loophole. “But if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again.”
This might seem counter-intuitive but again, Pat Robertson is an 86-year-old Televangelist who believes that you should cast the demons out of second-hand clothing so as not to inadvertently contract the curses of the previous owner. In his world, marriage is a vow of companionship. Nothing – not drugs or violence or a gambling issue – can negate your marriage vows as long as you can hold your own in the bedroom.
But God forbid your aging loins dry up before those of your spouse, because then they might just have to look elsewhere for ‘companionship.’ Perhaps looking at a little porn once in a while, or keeping your lusty judgments off of every woman you encounter would making resigning yourself to a sexless marriage for love’s sake a possibility. But again; 86 and crazy.
If you’re old as hell and super crazy then it’s obvious something is wrong with women. I’m not sure what being ‘rebellious’ is code for in Robertson-speak. I’m guessing that it lies somewhere on the spectrum between being able to vote and saying no to anal. But apparently, the most prudent way to put down this feminine revolt is with physical punishment:
“I don’t think we condone wife-beating these days,” Robertson laments in one clip, “but something has got to be done!”
He then jokingly suggested that the caller who first addressed his wife’s “rebelliousness” move to Saudi Arabia so that he could legally knock some sense into her. Somehow he kept himself from asking the caller to rate his wife’s attractiveness on a scale from 1 to 10 or to send him some tasteful non-nudes. Kudos Robertson for keeping Domestic Violence classy.
“This is the worldview Robertson bundles up and sells as religion to his followers night and day: Racist, misogynist, anti-science, and paranoid,” according to Amanda Marcotte of Salon.
So, although Robertson’s comments about Melania Trump’s physique were definitely uncalled for, they’re not the worst that she could have gotten from the man who believes that abortion is a lesbian conspiracy. He could have suggested that Trump take a ruler to her for accidentally stealing some lines from Michelle Obama. Don’t worry America, since Mrs. Trump is a 10 it’s perfectly okay for her to engage in bondage.
Featured Image via Mario Tama/ Getty