Well they’re at it again. The idiots of the right have taken yet another non-story about Malia and twisted into a taxpayer-burdening scandal of such monumental importance that it deserved to be covered by every conservative rag on the planet. The story is this: Malia Obama had to be whisked away from a party by the Secret Service because the cops were on their way to break it up, saving her from being arrested…again…and costing the taxpayers millions.
The truth is this: Malia Obama was at a party on Martha’s Vineyard and left with her Secret Service detail. The police were later called about the noise at the party, which they say is common this time of year, so they sent a car and asked them to keep it down.
In no way was Malia Obama involved with the police; the Secret Service didn’t whisk her away from anything. The taxpayer paid the same amount of money to protect a member of the first family that they would have whether she was at a party with some friends or at home sleeping. No scandal; nothing to see here.
That didn’t keep the “not-racist Christians” of the right from showing their inner racist. On one particular thread about the story on a conservative tabloid page, I found the eight most heinous comments of about 60 and did a little digging into the people who left them. Quite frankly, it’s time we stopped just showing the comments and instead starting calling out the racists who leave them by name.
Here they are in no particular order:
Meet Charles Mango from Syracuse, New York. Chuck’s likes include “Christians for Trump” and “God Today,” because when you’re a filthy racist, nothing is quite as satisfying as praying away the stench of hypocrisy you can’t seem to shake.
Brian Flynn, from Moulton, Alabama, actually has “In God We Trust” on his profile picture with a little Christian flag to compliment his Stars and Stripes. Apparently, monkeys like Malia Obama don’t qualify for God’s love in the eyes of this waste of space.
John Watson, location unknown, is a 77-year-old numbskull who really loves his dog and really hates Islam. Someone should really educate the poor guy that his religion shares a god with them. Or maybe not…It may cause him to go into cardiac arrest.
Isn’t he special? That’s Jack Bennet from Caldwell, Ohio. The very first post on his timeline is a meme talking about why he believes in God. Apparently, it’s not because God is love. That would be far too simple. God is judgment and hate and things Jack sees when your skin isn’t perfectly pink like his.
Richard Cranium from Littleton, Colorado, who is obviously clever enough to name himself “Dick Head,” lives up to his moniker and needs to be reported as a fake profile by as many people as possible. He’s another good Christian who likes all things Trump and all things that exploit women.
Mike Mulvaney is from Houston, Texas. Mike is a racist douchebag sucking up a good man’s air who actually subscribes to “Jesus Daily.” That may be where he gets his dose of interesting racial slurs to hurl around Facebook. Everyone knows Jesus hated the blacks, being the only white man with wavy sandy brown hair and blue eyes ever to come out of the middle east.
Nora Brodie is a retired court reporter from Sequim, Washington. Her likes include anything that helps show her infatuation with Donald Trump, everything Jesus…and “White Lives Matter.” Because once again, Jesus hated those darkies.
These people are the absolute worst America has to offer. The one good thing about this particular group is they all seem to be getting on in age and should be dead soon. Not that I wish death on anyone, but if it’s going to happen anyway, it couldn’t happen to a nicer collection of assholes.
Image by Getty Images