Donald Trump is well-known for solving the world’s problems on Twitter. There’s no need to follow his campaign or go to his rallies. No need to watch debates or tune in to interviews. All will eventually be revealed on social media.
How do you solve the problems caused by the century and a half of socioeconomic isolation of the black community since the abolition of slavery? With a single tweet, of course.
According to Donald Trump, the issues in black communities can be broken down and solved in just under 140 characters:
So many in the African-American community are doing so badly, poverty and crime way up, employment and jobs way down: I will fix it, promise
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 25, 2016
You can almost picture the look of concern on his face as he insults an entire demographic of the American people. You can just feel the empathy oozing from each character of twitterness he’s so benevolently offering the country. The entire thing can be paraphrased with, “You poor black people. You’ve done this to yourselves with your poverty and your crime. You should really get jobs. Don’t worry, by spending more money on policing, racial profiling and prisons and less on textbooks and schools I’ll make sure so many of you are locked away for profit that the issue will just…disappear.
Yeah, I know, that’s not really paraphrasing.
The best part of the tweet is the end. “I will fix it, I promise.” Well that sure does settle it then, doesn’t it? If America wants to see the black community stop being what stereotyping bigots portray it as being, all we need to do is elect Donald Trump. Right after he singlehandedly fixes a broken immigration system by deporting 11 million people and building a $2 trillion wall that extends 300 miles into the ocean and 200 feet underground so it’s effective he will then take aim at the inner cities of America, give everyone he doesn’t lock up a job and declare racism extinct.
What a relief. And here we liberals were hopelessly counting on progress and change through tolerance and equality. Silly us, the answer was right under our noses the whole time.
Featured image by Getty Images