Sometimes, that’s really the only response you can give to something someone does, and this is just one of those cases: Glenn Beck decided to mock Donald Trump’s spray on tan Friday by rubbing his face in a bowl of Cheetos.
I mean, he’s done things that make less sense in the past, so at least he has that going for him.
Now, certain branches of the human family tree suffer from melanin-deficiency. I belong to one of those branches; for those of us who glow like tonic water under a blacklight, there are several ways that we can tan:
For those who are traditionally white — that is, they have just enough Irish to confidently dodge accusations of racism and a Cherokee ancestor they can’t prove for purposes of college applications — “tanning” and “sunburn” are synonymous. SPF 50 is your friend.
For the handful who do tan — usually those with ancestry that takes them back to the Mediterranean or who actually have Native American ancestry — it’s with a light olive color.
And then there’s the folks who mainlined beta-carotene like cocaine. These folks tan a vivid orange — and among them is Donald Trump.
Granted, Trump’s spray tan isn’t as noticeable as Boehner’s tan was, but it’s still pretty pronounced — enough that Glenn Beck dipped back into reality to notice it.
On his Thursday radio program, Beck and his co-hosts mocked the Teflon Don for looking like an “orange raccoon,” and wondered aloud how Trump managed to attain a hue of orange usually reserved for traffic cones.
So to figure out how he did it, Beck and his co-hosts did the reasonable thing: they plotted an experiment. And in this experiment, they would smear crushed up Cheetos on their faces “to see if we can get our face close to the face of Donald Trump.”
I mean, okay? I’m tempted to blame this on the slow motion collapse of his media empire, but Beck’s always been an unhinged, raving lunatic, so it can’t just be that.
And they proceeded to follow through with their “experiment” at the end of the broadcast on Friday, in a scene reminiscent of that one from A Christmas Story: “Now show mommy how crackpot right-wingers eat!”
Beck opted to go for the classic variety, leaving the Jalapeno-Cheddar and the Flamin’ Hot varieties for the two remaining unfortunate souls. But they did manage to attain a healthy orange glow reminiscent of a demonic carrot, however, so props to Beck for . . . a job well done, I guess? I’m not sure what to make of this.
The video is four minutes of adult men smashing their faces into bowls of Cheetos. You can’t make this stuff up.
I can’t really add any commentary here that doesn’t add itself, so enjoy this video of Glenn Beck smearing Cheetos on his face:
Featured image via screen capture
Thamiel is a teacher and a learner; he’s a patron of the arts and sciences, and a supporter for universal human rights — as well as another quiet afternoon with the latest find at the local library.